Update: Busy and Blessed Summer

I have not posted on here for quite a while, and I am sure that everybody has sorely missed the details of my life.  :D  The summer was quite busy, but even more blessed.

As about everybody that knows me already knows, I ran for Missouri State Representative over the summer.  We ran a good campaign, worked hard, and met so many great people.  In the end, I fell about 8% short of the needed votes.  All my friends and family were so helpful along the way.  From being in parades to working fairs to putting up signs to going door to door, I had support all along the way.  I get "I'm sorry that you didn't win" pretty often.  While it is great to hear that they are concerned, there is nothing to be sorry about.  First of all, this journey has been filled with blessings--I have met a lot of great people along the way: Once accepted the Lord; Another family started going to church with us.  A lot of young people got involved in this campaign, and this country needs that, young people interested and involved in politics.  Secondly, it is not that disappointing because I was not doing this out of personal ambition.  I know it sounds crazy in politics this day in age, but I truly was running because I wanted to serve the people.  Imagine offering to help someone to move, and they say, "No thanks."  Are you going to be bummed out about that?  I offered my self  and service to the people; they voted that they didn't need the help that I was offering.  Now, I do believe that the people made the wrong decision and that I was truly the better option, but once again big money and lobbyists won out.  However, though I wanted to serve the people, I will be just fine.  I am not out on the street or anything, and I have a teaching career to get back to.  I will keep on doing my best in whatever I do and do it to the glory of God.  I thank all the people that supported me in my campaign and those that voted for me. 

Looking at my previous post, it was about my girlfriend.  Well, as it is clear to see the oncoming from the post, she is no longer my girlfriend.  Tania was an incredibly sweet and beautiful girl, but she was not the right one.  Circumstances were a bit too much for the relationship to survive.  There was no fight, but a friendly agreement that maintaining a long-distance relationship any longer simply wouldn't work. I wish her all the best in her future endeavors, and I am thankful for all the time we spent together, the fun I had and the lessons I learned.

Love Requires Sacrifice Sometimes???

Maybe I am being a fool. Maybe I am too idealistic or have too romantic of  a view of the world and love.

Before I say anything else, let me say that I love my girlfriend. And without her help after my fall, I may not have survived, and I appreciate that.

However, I can feel the relationship between me and my girlfriend slipping away. We have been together for about about a year and 9 months. Am I being too demanding to think that she should at least look for jobs around here or come for a visit? I completely understand that she has to look out for her career and what is good for her, but part of loving a person, in my mind, is being there when they need you.  When I fell and was hospitalized in China, my parents flew over there (and they are not the world traveling type).  I needed them so they were there.  That is what you do when you love someone. Right? Recovering from a brain injury is the hardest thing that I have ever gone through. My girlfriend should at least show a desire to come here. Maybe things wouldn't work out, and the result would be the same--her living and working in France--but it would mean so much to know that she tried to be with me when I need her now. She said that we should just live our separate lives until I am better again; then we can get back together. Sometimes, life gets hard--we have to help each other through those time. That is what community, family, and love are about. Do we just have different ideas about what love is? Or does she not love me as much as I love her? If the show were on the other foot--if she were injured--I know I would be there with her, for her. Ah, c'est la vie, I guess.

Inside My Stubborn Head

"When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did."

Live life passionately, and you will make mistakes--we all do--but there will be nothing to regret. Regret is a funny thing; I think sometimes it takes a while for it to get around to us. Maybe we do something, and at the time we do not regret doing it (or not doing it), but as life passes, we may learn something or the consequences become evident. Then, we regret it. Sometimes, though, we do something and immediately regret it, like yelling at your mom or telling a bigger kid to mind his own business. However, I was thinking about the things that take a bit before we really regret them.

I bring this up because I found a song that I started writing a while back. It was shortly after I had gotten out of a relationship with a girl. I had fallen in love faster and harder than I ever had. Then, I went and did about everything I could to unwittingly mess up the relationship. I had almost moved for her, but I didn't. I was set in my selfish ways, and I was not willing to sacrifice what I wanted for a relationship. Maybe, we would not have made it anyway, but at least we would have known, for sure, that we had given it a chance. What happened, happened.  I am not still hung up on it, but I was trying to give some context for the lines below and also share a very important time in my life. Also, I want to encourage you to take a risk and make that leap--don't let fear or selfishness keep you from pursuing something you desire.

A world of what-ifs reigns inside my stubborn head

I’m sorry was the thought, but it was never said

Second chance of hope, along with fate’s promises broken

The word was on the tongue but never quite got spoken

A man of mystery, too cool to show a grin

The still waters try to hide the panic within

A poem of fallen pride, forgiveness, and unadulterated care

Written and erased without ever being shared.

Watch Out World!

It was a simple act, but I think I really needed to make the Top Moments of 2010 list. Reminds me of how blessed I am. I originally was going to make a Top 10 list, then because I couldn't make one that narrow decided to do Top 20. I have still been coming up with things since then too. Life is good when you have trouble counting all your blessings.

It is taking some time to get used to what all has changed in my life. But I really didn't lost the things that are important. Still have God, my family, my friends, and my mind (I have to say that one because a lot of brain injured people aren't quite so lucky). This whole experience has actually brought me closer to God and my family so, in a way, it is a blessing.

Sometimes, we need a little something to happen to nudge us in the right direction in life...Guess I just needed a little more. With the new year, I don't really have any concrete resolutions, but I want to use this year (and the ones after) serving God and helping people. If there was any reminder to stay focused, I think losing peripheral vision is a good one--focus on what is in front of you and don't be distracted.

It has taken me a while, 7-8 months, but I am ready to move forward with my life. I have spent too much time feeling sorry for myself, getting mentally and emotionally used to what I have to live with, and also doing the needed recovery things; I feel like my life kind of halted. Now, I am ready to kick start it. Don't treat me like a helpless child; don't feel sorry for me--This is me! God has great plans for me. Watch out world!

Words of Advice!

I am just a simple man, but here are a few things that I have learned in my life.

Live with joy!!! --SMILE--  Happiness makes us smile, but also a smile can make you happy, both directly and indirectly. You may be surprised how the physical act of smiling can actually make you feel better. Your brain associates a smile with happiness. Fool your mind; smile and it will think happy thoughts. Also, a smile makes you appear kinder, more approachable, and overall more likable. Trust me, where it be in your professional or personal life, being likable will help you be more successful--which leads to more happiness, which leads to more smiles, which leads to even more happiness--an endless cycle, and IT ALL BEGINS WITH A SMILE.

Learn to work with others. Surround yourself with smart, talented people, and work with them. Face it, you may be smart, but, in everything, there is someone even better. Use their skills to help you succeed. But this in not a one-way street, in the same way, use your skills to help them succeed. There is great truth in the idea that everybody is your superior in someway, and you are to them. Figure out what you have to offer each person. PROSPER THROUGH  PRODUCTIVE  PARTNERSHIPS! Take advantage of synergy; be a team player concerned with group success, not individual success.

NEVER STOP LEARNING! New languages, new interests, new skills. And know the interest of others, and learn about them. Other than just making them feel better, great opportunities can begin with the smallest of connections. Read, read, read!  Read history, read news, read novels, read poetry--just read! Cram all that knowledge in there for a man with many interests is comfortable in any situation and conversation. Broaden your horizons; learn from others; focus on what you are not good at so you can become well-rounded.

OPEN YOUR MIND! Everything--EVERYTHING has more than one side...usually several. If someone disagrees with you, try to understand their perspective. Conflict comes from having different perspectives. By understanding others' perspectives, it can help you relate to other people. Don't be afraid to compromise--there are times that we need to.  Of course, there are times that we shouldn't also. Either way, it is better to understand the other person's point of view. Know your opponents and friends. This can help you build both personal and business relationships. Businesses must have something to offer. What better way to come up with something to offer than by knowing other people and their needs. Sometimes you need to put yourself in their shoes and look at things through their eyes. This will help develop and market products that will appeal to others.

LOSE YOUR PRIDE! Don't worry about what people think about you. Instead of worrying about looking good, BE GOOD! Be intelligent, kind, and successful--then just let people see the real you. Masks and facades fade away. They can hide you for a while, but your true self will eventually show through. Might as well show your true self from the beginning--being good will not just make others think better of you, but you will feel better about yourself. Your confidence will soar! (This is also the dating advice that I give...don't pretend to be the things that they want...be them...usually smart, funny, and considerate are more than a girl/guy can ask for).

LIVE FOR OTHERS! Real joy doesn't come from an individual accomplishment; it comes from helping others. From helping those who are starving to helping those you work with, everybody needs something. Beyond physical needs, people want to feel special. Help other people in your life by making them feel important...nah, don't make them feel important, make them important to you. Put their happiness above your own. And the crazy thing is that this will actually bring you more happiness. If you are able to make others happy and successful, be sure that you will also be.

The Top 20 Moments of 2011

2011 has definitely been the most trying year of my life, but it still has been an awesome year.  I am so blessed. The first 5.5 months, I spent in Shanghai--I had an amazing time there, but I notice that I really didn't say much about my time there. So for all of my friends in Shanghai, please don't take it personal. And I guess, some are not really moments...but things that happened over a longer time. 

(from last year)

20. Cardinals win the World Series!!!

     Ever since I was little, baseball was my sport, and the Cardinals were my team. This year, they squeaked into the playoffs after a historic (as in, the biggest ever) comeback.  They were underdogs in their three postseason series, but won them all.  And had  one of the greatest games in baseball history (Game 6 of the World Series). Was all amazing.

19. Watching Sports:
     Living overseas, I have missed so much of my family's life. I was actually really wanting to come home for my brother's senior season, guess that wish came true, just not how I had planned. It is also always good to see my nephew play. And to see my niece getting into sports is fun. I know that these moments are important to growing up--glad I was here for part of it. Going to a Cardinals' game is something I have done every year, except last year, so it was good to get back into the tradition.  They lost the only game that I went to, but it was good to see Pujols one last time as a Cardinal.

18. Chiefs beat Packers! Not a great season, but a great game:

     So about every Sunday during football season we go to my sister's place in Arkansas. Two big screens and a projector make for good football watching. Our (dad, me, and April) favorite team is the KC Chiefs.  This year has not went exactly as planned as we have a losing record, but we did have a major win over the Green Bay Packers. It is really only relevant because the Packers were undefeated...until we beat them!

17. Weekend in St. Louis: Getting MBIA Courage Award, seeing Alisha's baby, going to Anita's dinner party:

     So this year has been dominated by my brain injury and all the effects of that. Missouri has it's Brain Injury Association convention once a year. This year, they gave me the Courage Award because I have maintained a positive attitude (not always in my blog, I know) and have tried to use my experience to help people. Also, while in St. Louis for the convention, I was able to swing by my friend's, Alisha, place and see her new baby. So cute. Also got to see her sis, and my close friend, Jessica. This whole experience with the injury has brought me back into touch with my friend, Anita. Anita was one of my best friends in and after college before we grew apart the past couple of years.  She is a doctor now and I happened to have my surgery at that hospital so she was able to come and visit a few times. Anyway, during that weekend in St. Louis, she had a dinner party (with mostly other doctors).  She cooked some awesome lasagna and dessert...and we all watched the Cards win Game 2 of the World Series.

16. Rehab: Working with fun therapists, talking to other patients, listening to audio books:
     I fought against going to rehab before being talked into it. Thank God that I did decide to go. In those 3 weeks, I improved so, so much. I went from being in a wheelchair to walking, from not being able to even watch TV or get on computer because my eyes were so bad to being able to read again. I met Charity, John, Shawn, Larissa, and Amy: my awesome therapists. They were all really fun and helpful.  I hope I will stay friends with them for a long time. Also, met some other patients that I was able to share my experience with. And at first, because I wasn't able to watch TV or get on computer, I was so bored in the evenings, luckily my sister and one of the therapists both got me some audio books.  Most of my evenings were spent listening to them.

15. Volunteering and speaking at Brain Injury Awareness 5K:
     Two of my therapists helped organize a 5K run to raise some money and awareness for brain injuries. They asked me if I would be interested in helping out.  I helped people get ready to run, encourage them as they ran, and I gave a speech. For a former Public Speaking instructor, it was not really that impressive, but it was good to get back involved in a positive way with the community. We doubled the amount of money they raises last year.  Who knows how much we will raise next year. A goal of mine is to be able to run it next year!

14. Having Mom and Dad come to China: And all the other support from the family--in the St. Louis hospital, at Rehab, and at home:
     If you ever want to see if your family loves you, fall off a balcony. Ok, don't really.  But man, did my family ever come through for me. My parents came to take care of me in China. My sisters and brother have done so much for me. And, of course, my nieces and nephew have been great too. It was kind of funny to see my parents learn to adapt to China because we come from a small town of about 1000, but Shanghai is close to 20 million people. That is a little bigger. :) Also, thanks for all the people who visited me in the Shanghai hospital, St. Louis hospital, Rehab, or at home.

13. Playing board games, cards, Wii, and karaoke with the family:
     My family is a big game playing family. Scrabble Take 1, Zero, 5 Second Game, Cranium, Apples 2 Apples, Canasta...they are all part of the arsenal. Though we can be a bit competitive, they are usually hilarious. And my niece got a karaoke machine for Christmas so we have been rocking that. On the Wii, bowling, Big Brain Academy, and the dancing game are my favorite.

12. Getting back to the U.S.--being surprised by people at the airport:
     Both my sisters and their significant others, my brother, my nieces, my Uncle Jeff and his kids were all at the airport in Kansas City waiting for us as we got off the plane. I have a song that I wrote that is talking about the best feelings in the world and one of them was "Finally coming home after too long away." Coming home is always exciting for me. It's just a good feeling to know that you are going back to your home and family.

11. Surprise Welcome Back party:
     My family and some close friends had a surprise for me the evening that I got home.  They said that my nieces were doing something at the church and wanted me to come.  When I walked in, everyone was there to surprise me. I was so excited to see everyone. Thanks everybody.

10. Birthday party with family and friends:
     It was pretty small, but it was a nice birthday party.  My old boss/coach/friend, Tom, had a birthday barbecue for me. His kids and family, as well as mine, and a couple other folks were all that was there, but we had a good time.  Hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill, birthday cake, some pool playing, and then Men vs. Women in Outburst (its not important who won). Turned 29 this year, almost the big 3-0.

9. Benefit Auction where I got to see a lot of old friends
     As you can see, friends and family played a huge part of this past year (they always do, but maybe even more this year). To help pay for some of the medical bills and other things, my friends organized a benefit auction for me. It was the day after I got back from rehab so it was good opportunity for me to see people. Thanks to Heather, Heather, Sam, Michael, Scottie, and anyone else who helped organize it. Anyway, they had a silent auction with some good stuff, food, and even auctioned off some pies.  It really helped out.

8. Getting back into church: including Youth, Friday Night C.P.R., and Freedom House.
     One of the things that I regret the most is that I never really found a church family in Shanghai--my own fault. When I was injured, the church helped pay for my parents to come and take care of me...and that was a church that my parents had just started going to and I had never even been to. That kind of compassion is one of the things that draws me to the church. Beyond the normal Sunday (morning and evening) and Wednesday services, we also have Youth on Tuesday night and C.P.R. on Friday night. C.P.R. stands for Community Prayer Room; we do a lot of worship (through song) and prayer. Freedom House is not directly from my church; it is actually a couple of members that organized it.  It is an African school and orphanage that rescues girls from the slave trade...mostly the sex slave trade. If you were like to know more or sponsor a child, check them out on facebook (or ask me). The URL is http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100002775057228

7. New Firsts:
     Or should I say the firsts since the accident. I think some of the highlights for me were: 1. The first jump-I was at a church event on Halloween, and we were doing a song that says we are going to "Jump in the river" and there is an action (jumping) that goes with it...I decided to try jumping; I did it!  I had tried earlier after the accident and couldn't do it so it was a big excitement for me. 2. The first jog-This actually came before the jump, but not much.  I was at the local YMCA.  I went to the basketball court and jogged across it. It was uncoordinated and imbalanced, but after more than 6 months, I was able to jog. 3. The first time playing racquetball: Okay, so I am still really bad playing, with my vision trouble (the lack of depth perception mostly in this case) and balance issues, but I am able to play. I go to the YMCA one or two times a week with my brother and brother-in-law and get some exercise.  We have a good time and burn a few calories.  I have gone from being in a coma TO not being able to sit up TO being in a wheelchair TO walking with a cane TO walking normal TO jogging TO playing racquetball--it is pretty amazing to see the progress.

6. Thanksgiving football
     I have been abroad for the past two Thanksgivings so it was nice to be back for this one. Football, Family, and Food--how can you beat that? The whole Jennings gang--around 100 folks-get together for the festivities. The guys always play a game of football before dinner; I was all-time quarterback because I am not that good at running or catching quite yet, but I can throw just fine. Then we eat; then we usually grab the guitars and jam for a bit. Probably my favorite holiday.

5. Being home for Christmas
     Like Thanksgiving, I have been gone for the past two. Christmas just means more when surrounded by family. I think everyone here, especially me, have an increased appreciation for family now. We opened presents, then went to church, then came home for lunch, finally my college roommate and his sister came over to play some board games. It was just perfect.

4. 10 year class reunion:
Wow, time flies. The reunion was in two parts: a picnic during the day and at the bar at night. The picnic was nothing too exciting, but good. We talked and watched the kids play.  Why are so many people my age married with kids???  Guess I am getting old. That night at the bar (no, I didn't drink), we had a good time enjoying each other's company and listening to the band. I was the name tag maker; somehow few people actually ended up with their name on their tag.  I put on a lot of silly nicknames. Anyway, we had a good time, and it was great to see everyone again.  Hopefully, it is not another 10 years before I see some of them again.

3. Taking voice and guitar lessons:
     Music has always been an escape for me.  When I am singing or playing guitar (not that I am that great), I forget about my accident, which will all the effects I still have is not that often.  So I signed up for a class at the local college and took some guitar lessons. Nothing too serious going on, but just having a good time.

2. Romantic vacation with Tania in Thailand
     We went on a short vacation together in China before, but had never left the country or done major traveling together before. We met up in Bangkok and had quite the time. We explored that crazy city first--seen some sights and got massages--then we went to a smaller city to see some temples and go bike riding, after that, we went down south to the beach on Koh Phi Phi island. We had an amazing time, being together and not worrying about work. And we even got to spend Valentine's Day there.

1. Seeing the Angkor Wat temples in Cambodia

      I went to Cambodia alone, but soon met new friends. First,  I checked out Phnom Penh and all the history there. Then headed down to the beach-enjoyed the sun, rented bikes, went to an all-night island party! I saved the best for last though as I headed up to Angkor Wat. The temples are AMAZING. You should really check them out if you ever get the chance.

Feliz Navidad!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I am going to keep this post simple: I am so, so, so happy to be home for Christmas!  I was gone for the past two Christmases so this holiday season spent with my family is extra special. I know it sounds cliche, but being with my family really was the best present that I could ask for. Of course, that being said, I did get some other presents too. :D



(my last Christmas home: 2008)